South Korea

Last night the Rays went thru a whirlwind of events which eventually lead to the permanent ban of Dave Garrison.  Due to Ray Pawlyk being put on season ending IR, the failure of John Hughes to show (reportedly  because the 6 year old SP TeeBall all stars were playing) and Paul Lupica stuck at work the Rays were about to forfeit.   A last minute call was placed to Garrison who was reportedly at a local alcohol serving establishment and had to be bused up to Estadio Sottile.  He sould have stayed away and instead made a mockery of himself and the NRWBL.  His antics will not be tolerated - Kennesaw Mountain Luzon said -  "The NRWBL Board has had a few busy weeks recently.  With the display Mr Garrison put on,  the Board feels it is in the best interest of the League, as well as his own personal safety that he be placed on the permanently banned list with no chance of reinstatement.  I cant believe he is a certified coach at HLL with his hitting and throwing techniques displayed last night.  May God have mercy on your soul."

The fines/suspensions of 2 NRWBL were upheld in a emergency board meeting during last weeks games.  In a statement released by Kennesaw mountain Luzon "It pains me to say this but the board has voted to uphold the suspensions of Mike Sidoti and Scott Murphy.  It is clearly stated in the rules that the breaking of NRWBL equipment will result in a minimum 1 game suspension, or more if more severe.  In the case of Mr Sidoti, we weighed a possible longer suspension due to the fact we can not play if we do not have a strikezone.  Mr Sidoti was gracious enough to build a superior, Mike Sidoti-proof strikezone which cost more than the $50 fine so the board has agreed to waive the fine.  Based upon the evidence,  previous precedent and the previous behavior of Mr Sidoti this year, the suspension of 1 game has been upheld and will be enforced tonight.  Mr Murphy appealed his suspension/fine however failed to show up to his hearing later that night for breaking a bat.  Based upon the evidence and prior precedent, the Board voted to uphold his 1 game suspension and that will also be enforced tonight.  Mr Murphy has already paid a fine of $20 however reportedly has found a replacement bat.  If bat is found to be acceptable as a replacement, the $20 fine will be refunded.  Let this be a lesson to all NRWBL players that this is a serious issue and will be dealt with accordingly.  The Board's responsibilty is to protect this League and it players and to make sure the integrity and best interests of the NRWBL are kept.  We can not risk losing the gym because of a momentary lapse of judgement and more importantly getting on of our players hurt.   I dont think we need to remind anyone what happened on a nearby golf course when a club went flying thru the air"

Hello sports fans, reporting live from Estadio de Giovanni Sottile in Stony Point.  Rumors are flying and a deal once thought to be dead seems imminent.  Reportedly, 2 American League managers have come to terms in an exchange of franchise players which is sure to shakeup the league.  All that is left are pending physicals between the players.  Live from Stony Point, I'm Peter Head - ESPN.

Update 10:41PM - Peter Head again reporting from Stony Point.  It is official - Matt Valenzano has been traded from the Yankees to the Red Sox for Billy Pilla. Red Sox manager John Daly was concerned that Valenzano would not pass his physical but Dr reports have made the recommendation he wear a manzieere for support of his upper chest.  Yankees manager Matt Sullivan was quoted"He's (Valenzano) a prolific hitter, however sometime players chemistry does not always mix.  Sometimes we were on seperate pages and with his comments to try and take the NRWBL to a travel league has peoples heads scratching - I wish him nothing but the best of luck - until we play him then I hope he breaks a leg."  From the Red Sox camp there was little comment, however Pillas consistent absence repotedly seems to be the straw that broke the camels back, especially since that leaves O'Neill to pitch in his absence.  I'm Peter Head - ESPN.

More images have appeared in the sex scandal of an NRWBL player.  It appears he has opened an alternate lifestyle gym and gives "private" lessons. 

The NRWBL has announced that their first player has come out of the closet.  A player we all know of the Cubs has officially announced he has a male partner and there will be a ceremony before the NRWBL Championship Game joining the two.  Cubs teammates are reportedly shocked.  Banana Nose Cahill was reportedly asking for seperate showers - more on this later as it develops.