Tuna Can Jones

After over a month with no clues as to his whereabouts, authorities called off the search for TCJ member, Randy "pretty boy" Brookhmiller. After searching every strip club in town, including the "really nasty ones down in Pasadena", the authorities called off their search Monday due to lack of interest. "It's not that we're lazy, it's that we just don't care," read Deputy Clarence McKinzie from a prepared statement read to the assembled media at a hastily called press conference. "If'n he's not at a strip club, his friends had no idea where else he could be," continued McKinzie, "therefore we're calling off this search until we find someone who gives a damn about finding him." Dirk Moore issued a statement on behalf of Tuna Can Jones. "While TCJ is somewhat startled that the Randy could not be found at the Colorado, The Men's Club, or even Heartbreakers, we are confident that if we extend our search to League City, Randy will be found." When asked if there was any truth to the rumor that Randy had retired due to the increased potential of injury to his valued face and abs, Moore suggested "probably." Project Milk Carton as it was dubbed by the team, has also met with little or no success. Apparently the team begin plastering pictures of the Randy on the back of milk cartons hoping to increase the liklihood that someone had seen him and could give some clue as to his whereabouts. "Apparently, strippers don't drink much milk or something" team soccer player, Rick Monk said.

TCJ travelled to Conroe on April 13th to participate in the 1st Annual Pigskin Superfest. TCJ finished 6th out of 11 teams with wins over the Houston Daredevils and the Houston Hawks in the double elimination tournament. TCJ lost to the Brazosport Underdogs and the San Antonio Stars. TCJ players included: Dirk Moore Seminole Greg Randy Brookmiller James Warnica Jesse Hedrick Chris Powell Seki Gonzalez Carlos Sepulveda Seth Wexler