Tuna Can Jones

While we don't normally like to report non-football related news on our website, occasionally a "feel good" story comes across the TCJ news desk that is too good to pass up. On November 29th, our own "Seminole" Greg Harless traveled to the beautiful North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii to contend for Hawaiian Tropic's Mr. Tan in a Can. The company's new line of tan creams, gels and peroxide hair products, which debuted earlier this year had been slow sellers so the company hoped to increase market awareness by holding the Mr. Tan in a Can contest, which would operate as the male equivalent of the ultra-popular Ms. Hawaiian Tropic Pageant. Despite sporting an "all-over" full body orange tinted tan and peroxide highlighted hair, Greg didn't make it beyond the initial round of finalists, due to what Seminole termed as a "regional bias." He did however, get to perform in several of the contestant musical numbers and termed it "the dream of a lifetime." "I got to meet quite a few great dudes and we certainly plan to keep in touch." And there's always next year, Seminole.

Behind a strong offensive performance by former soccer player, Rick Monk and a stifling pass rush, TCJ took home the championship trophy at the Post Oak YMCA playoffs. After a forfeit win against the Bulldogs, TCJ faced the #3 seeded Gamblers. Rick Monk started the scoring off early hauling in a 40 yard TD pass from James Warnica on the team’s first drive. After Steve Kherker and Seminole Greg Harless harassed the quarterback into several incompletions, Seminole Greg took a swing pass 20 yards for TCJ’s second score in as many possessions, making several nifty moves en route to the endzone. Randy Brookmiller also got into the action hauling in a long pass which got TCJ down inside the Gamblers 5 yard line where TCJ managed to add another score. The Gamblers did mangage to post a score, but it wasn’t enough as the Can coasted to a 33-6 victory to move them into the finals against Any Given Sunday. In the championship game, TCJ faced a rested AGS, but again proved too strong for the opposition. Chris Faucett caught a Warnica pass in the back corner of the end zone for the team’s first score and the Kherker/Harless pass rush was again too much, recording two safeties and numerous sacks and hurries of the AGS signal caller. The defense managed to record the shutout as TCJ posted a 35-0 victory. Rick Monk again played a big role turning a stop route into a 60 yard gain, and scurrying into the end zone on another short pass and long run. Dirk Moore and Randy Brookmiller each scored on long touchdown catches. Brookmiller hauling in a long bomb down the left sideline and Moore turning a Steve Kherker shot put pass into a 40 yard touchdown run.

Despite being unceremoniously dismissed from the double elimination Post Oak YMCA tournament in two uneventful games, TCJ managed to take home the trophy for "best looking team", narrowly edging out Houston All-Madden for the award. Lead by a stellar performance from Brian Crum (pictured), TCJ battled unseasonably stiff, hair-blowing winds and sweat inducing weather to take home the coveted title. "Most of these teams come out wearing hats that are turned around backwards, shirts with the sleeves ripped off, and some even wear shoes covered in mud," remarked team captain, Dirk Moore. "Our early morning primping has finally paid off for us." All-Madden, the odds on favorite and previous holder of the coveted trophy which features a bust of referee Clarence, shocked the crowd by showing up in new Tampa Bay Bucs knock-off jerseys. But apparently their move backfired as the judges handed the trophy to an under-appreciated TCJ. "Madden's new jerseys weren't the problem so much as the fact that they were yellow. Those All-Madden fellows don't have the facial features or skin-tone to pull of something like that, certainly not this close to the fall earth tone season," said a judge who wished to remain anonymous. The Can certainly faced an uphill battle when it learned late in the week that Randy "pretty boy" Brookmiller and Chris Faucett were not going to be able to make it out, but a great performance out of late addition, Collin Kennedy helped TCJ to the title. "Collin played the first game in his new white tennis shoes, which really brought his uniform together in a way that wearing his normal cleats would not have," remarked Road Rash Rick Monk, "it's the little things like that, that will make the difference." Not that it mattered, but TCJ lost to Texas Heat in its 9:00 a.m. opener 26-14. And lost to Storm 34-12 in the noon elimination game. The team followed up the day with a pizza party at Barry's Pizza. A good time was had by all.

After finishing the regular season of the Houston Sportsplex Sunday night league in first place with a 15-1 record, TCJ (going by the name Project Mayhem) lost its first round playoff game to Storm 19-13. In typical fashion, TCJ gave up a touchdown on the last play of the game to allow Storm the win. Storm went on to win the league title.

On Sunday May 19th, TCJ member Brian Crum was married to his long-time sweetheart, Julie-something (who cares, it's Julie Crum now). Against all odds, Julie managed to bag the man tabbed, "the one date wonder" by his friends after a mere 3 year courtship. Glad to see that there is a good chance that Brian can shake off his distinction as the only TCJ member (other than Seminole Greg, Steve Maddex, Andrew Toubin and Rick Monk) who is still a virgin. Way to go, Brian.