Announcement
PARENT TIPS/RESPONSIBLE SPORTS by Liberty Mutual
- If you find yourself repeatedly feeling like you have to let the official know he's made a bad call, sign up to officiate next season.
- Consider what you look like on the sideline during the game. Kids sneak looks at their parents more than we realize, and body language speaks volumes.
- If you have something to tell your child about her attitude, effort, support of teammates, or another issue, try asking for her permission. This will make her more open to your feedback. You might say, "There's something I've noticed you could do that would help you be a better teammate. Do you mind if I tell you?" If she answers "no", you must respect that and wait for other opportunitites.- Children who feel in control of their own development are more likely to have full Emotional Tanks. Put your children in charge of their own development as athletes. Let them know your advice is available for the asking. Then . . . and this is the hard part . . . don't offer it unless they ask.
- Youth athletes have a special ear for their parents' voices. Realize this during games, and make sure what they hear from you is not conflicting with coaches' instructions and intentions.- Avoid yelling verbs. When you're watching a competition you should enthusiastically support all the players. Cheer their effort and successes, but if you are yelling verbs like "run", "throw", "kick", "pass", you are coaching.
- Let your children enjoy the 'Romantic Stage' of sports, and resist the urge to rush them in to overly competitive settings too soon.
- Great players have the ability to "leave it on the field." After the game, regardless of the result, move on to something else your child will enjoy.
- Maintain a "Magic Ratio" of five truthful, specific praises for every one specific, constructive criticism. If you do, you will find out why it's called that, because children will be able to do things you wouldn't have thought posible.- Fill your children's Emotional Tanks. Like a car's gas tank, an empty Emotional Tank won't take us far, but when the Tank is full we can keep it running.
- To excel, your children must love the game enough to work at it. Pressuring them to excel can sap that love. You can nurture this love of playing by noticing and recognizing them for specific things they're doing well.
- Let your kids know that whether or not they win or lose, you will still love them and will be proud of them. Kids see how much their parents are investing (time and money) in their sports and they worry they'll upset their parents with anything other than victory.
- It is the responsibility of players and coaches to try to win. You have a much more important responsibility: making sure your children draw from sports the lessons that will help them become successful, contributing adults.
- When talking sports with your kids, keep it a conversation among equals. Get them to share their thoughts with you rather than telling them what you think.
- Courage isn't the absence of fear - it's doing what is right in spite of the fear. Encourage your children to see scary situations as opportunities to develop courage.
- Encourage your children to occassionally take risks on the athletic field. Without this, they might always be afraid to make mistakes and won't maximize their athletic ability.
- When your child is really nervous before a game, ask her if she wants to go to the field where the game will be played and check it out ahead of time. This will give your child a sense of control and take some unknowns off the table.
- Remember those growth charts that measured your children's height at different ages? Create something similar each sport season, measuring their progress.- Remember, research shows that athletes who receive positive encouragement, support and unconditional love from their parents tend to thrive.
- Ideally, children will try multiple sports. Playing different sports is good for young minds and bodies. Help your child manage her choices so she doesn't become overwhelmed. Build in down time from sports to make room for other activities.
- Have your child make a collage about a professional or college athlete that they respect. Then have them talk you through the collage. If you feel creative, make one too! Then you can see how much your thoughts and your child's match.
- Help your young athlete to understand the value of a good opponent. Good opponents bring out the best in us. Model this attitude by talking about opponents respectfully. Never demonize the opponent as "the enemy".- Commit to conducting yourself by a code, which Positive Coaching Alliance calls 'Honoring the Game'. To remember components of this code, remind yourself and your children that Honoring the Game means respecting the sport's ROOTS, where ROOTS stands for Rules, Opponents, Officials, Teammates, and Self.
- Let your child know you are OK with her not making a particular team. You may be disappointed FOR her if she doesn't make it, but you WON'T be disappointed IN her. This will take the pressure off and free her up to give her 'best effort'.
- Talk with your child about her goals and how sports may help her achieve them. Recognize that your goals for her sports experience may not be the same as hers. Support her in striving to reach her goals. If the goals are all about skills or results, remind your child that "having fun" should be at the top of the list.- Ask your children's coaches if they have a coaching philosophy. If not, let them know you admire coaches who strive to win, while teaching life lessons through sports.
- As soon as you know who your child's coach is going to be, introduce yourself, let him/her know you want to help your child have the best possible experience and offer to assist the coach in any way you are able (at practices or just handling paperwork or treats). Meeting the coach early and establishing a positive relationship will make conversation easier if a problem arises during the season.- Instead of focusing on the scoreboard, remember the ELM Tree of Mastery for Effort, Learning, and Mistakes are OK (because mistakes help us learn, but fear of mistakes helps us fail.)
- Coaching your own child can offer some of life's greatest moments, though it requires a delicate balance between coaching and parenting. Make it clear to your child when you are in coach ' mode'. Be sensitive to favoring or penalizing your child.
- To excel, your children must love the game enough to work at it. Pressuring them to excel can sap that love. You can nurture this love of playing by noticing and recognizing them for specific things thy're doing well.
- Avoid having your children specialize in one sport too early. It can lead to burnout and overuse injuries, and perhaps worst of all, falling out of love with the sport.
