It was 1986, I was seven years old I believe. I remember it very well. I was outside shooting on my net in the driveway, which is where you would always find me in those days, when a motorcycle pulled into the driveway. The man driving it got off, took his helmet off, walked over to me and said “ Hey Nate, I’m Bill. Is your mom home? I’d like to talk to her “ I said yes, he knocked on the door, my mom came out and they preceded to talk for quite a while. I continued to shoot on my net, and when it was time for Bill to leave I remember him simply being kind to me, and telling me to keep working hard…..so I did.

What I didn’t know was that Bill was actually there for me. He was offering me a tryout for his AAA Novice hockey team, but in retrospect what he was really doing for me was standing for me. He was the first person to open a door for me in my life and that one gesture completely changed my life forever. To this day I don’t know why he did it, but I ended up making that team and for the next 5 years I played AAA hockey, a privilege that only today I have begun to understand the value of.

Now to be clear, my mother did not have the money at all for me to play, or even close. So every single year someone else had to step up for me to play, and step up they did. For five straight years too many people to count took their turn stepping up for me whether with sponsorships, their time, rides to the rink, meals, etc. They all taught me so many valuable philosophies in life and they are all equally responsible for the man I am today.

So why do I coach?

I coach because it’s my turn to pay it forward. I owe every single one of those people at least that much. But if I am really honest, I have two other polarizing reasons. The first is that I believe that playing a role in developing positive belief systems in our youth is one of the most important, impactful, and rewarding things that anyone can have the privilege of doing. Coaching isn’t about the sport itself, it’s about preparing young men and women for the exponentially changing world that they must now face. Developing the resilience, tenacity, compassion, persistence, mindset that they need to be successful in life.

The second reason of mine revolves around the responsibility of coaching. Someone reading this article may have noticed that I stopped playing AAA hockey right in the middle of my time in minor hockey ( age 12 to be exact ). That was my choice. It wasn’t because I got cut, or my parents weren’t willing to pay for me to play. It was because I was told that I was simply not good enough, a lie that I bought and kept with me for the next 20 years of my life. A lie that cemented a fixed mindset in me that only just recently have I begun to overcome.

And that is also why I coach.

This year I have been given the privilege of coaching an amazing group of boys, the bantam A Trappers. I came in with very little experience and I have been lucky to have been joined by an amazing coaching staff who I have learned so much from on our coaching journey. I also have a group of boys who are very patient with me, and a collection of parents who have been very supportive as well. Without all of these support systems I honestly don’t know where we would be, we are simply better together.

We work at instilling in the boys the value of preparation and hard work. We focus only on the process, the journey. We have a lot of fun along the way and in those tough moments instead of taking the pain away we sit with them and teach them how to feel it, process it. We’ve had some tough losses but we have also had some glorious victories, where we have overcome so much, much more than we ever thought possible.

Our season is coming to an end soon however not before our final tournament and our playoffs, where I believe our boys will shine their brightest. By “shine their brightest” I don’t necessarily mean win, although that would be a great confidence boost to end the season. I mean they will surprise even themselves, go above and beyond their own expectations, the ones that they established for themselves on day one. If we accomplish that, if we show up and dare greatly we will know what it feels like to be in the arena, and that in itself is victory enough.

In summary, why do I coach? I suppose it’s all those reasons, and probably a few more that I haven’t mentioned. I absolutely love it and respect my responsibility in it. Being a part of someone else’s journey in a small way makes me very happy. But I also know the profound impact it can have on the life of someone, just as Bill had on me in the very beginning.

Bill Coghill is his full name. I’ve crossed paths with him a few times over the last few years, but have never stopped to shake his hand and say thank you. So next time I see him I will, but till then THANK YOU.

Thank you for stepping up, stepping in, and changing my life.

Sincerely,

1. Nate Roberts