match at 1pm against degree, these guys are talented but lost to bad news bears 5-1. same again this week dawgs, use this oppurtunity to get in shape and do the best you can. We play well at first half right? all i ask is that you give 100% in both halves and dont worry about the score, have fun. Also dont forget to sign up for outdoor spring season

Word on the street is that the bad news bears are most talented team right now, whereas we are the new obese kids struggling through gym class. No worries, its a beneficial soccer train wreck that should motivate all of you to work hard and sharpen your shit. I predict this will be fun, for example we are languishing at the bottom of a malfunctioning toilet and this is not cool, so the fun is working our way up to a shiny new efficient toilet, hell ya. Look bros, all of you are good soccer players but as a team we have the skills of a horny virgin teenager, I mean that in the best way possible. SO stick around, lets practice a bit and continue learning as if we are kids again, back when it was fun, remember? I expect all of you corrupted gentlemen at the field house at noon vs McThor