Minutemen Youth Wrestling

Is a Crazy or Over-involved Parent Needed to Be an Elite Athlete? 

At the 2012 Olympic Games the athletes are not the only ones in the spotlight. NBC pointed its cameras at the athletes’ parents and their reactions during the competition. Whether it is Michael Phelps’ mother looking anxiety-ridden or Aly Raisman’s parents doing a humorous dance in their seats it has revealed that the parents of competing athletes go through the pressure, too. They certainly have a great deal of emotional investment in the competition. There is a popular sentiment in tennis – to develop a great player you need a crazy, over-involved parent; one that wants the wins and success maybe more than the athlete. Is this fact? Does an athlete need a person they should trust most in their life to be pushing, controlling, and criticizing their athletic pursuits? Unfortunately, we have seen the side effects of controlling, critical parenting with Todd Marinovich and Jennifer Captriati. According to an interview study Dr. Gould and I conducted for the United States Tennis Association it is not true. Of the nine professional tennis players I interviewed probably 6 or 7 had more positive experiences with their parents than negative (1). Therefore, you can be a positive sport parent and still help the child achieve greatness. Take Roger Federer and Pete Sampras for example. Their parents were involved but were always in the background allowing the player and the coach to be in the spotlight. Their involvement would be considered supportive but not over-involved. This result does not suggest you should avoid pushing as a parent. In fact, there needs to be an optimal level that is determined by the child’s goals for sport and willingness to be pushed. The tennis players interviewed talked about needing a parent to push them to get up in the morning, work hard, and make sacrifices. However, it was something that the player wanted not solely what the parent wanted. So, it comes down to the athlete making the choice to have the parent push them, otherwise it is pressure. How the parent pushes also matters. If it is negative, overbearing or controlling athletes tend to feel stress and have reductions in motivation. For example, the pro tennis players we interviewed often found parental reactions in the stands to be a distraction. Some players asked their parents to not attend because they made them nervous (1). I recognize that parents are in a tough situation. Athletes want their parents’ support and need it, but do not want to be pressured. The problem is young athletes often do not want to make sacrifices while chasing their dreams. The parents then force them to sacrifice certain things like time with friends to train which leads the child to believe the sport is most important to the parent thus creating pressure. If a parent is going to be very involved in their child’s sport then the best scenario is for the other parent to focus on other aspects of the child’s life to create balance. Furthermore, talk with your child about their goals for the sport and the level of involvement you will have to help them reach those goals. Finally, remember it is sport and not a career for most youth athletes. Keep it fun and positive. Common Belief: Elite athletes have over-involved parents that push, control, and criticize their child. Science Says… Elite athletes have come from less involved, positive parents as well as over-involved, negative parents. The differences are the negative consequences for the child-parent relationship as well as the athlete’s well-being. 1. Institute for the Study of Youth Sports. (2005). The role of parents in junior tennis success. Phase 3 Report for the USTA Retrieved on August 9, 2012 at http://www.educ.msu.edu/ysi/past_projects.htm