Why Expatriate People Marry Locals

Recently, there was this interesting piece by Jo-N, in which it was mentioned that people nowdays tend to shy away from marriage. There are certainly many reasons why people never marry but it is equally interesting to know why people expatriate marry.

And one factor that I think figure prominently is AGE. Most people tend to think that the best age to marry is when the person is in her/his 20′s (especially for women), and once 30 hits, the panic sort of begins when no prospective mate is in sight.

So, when someone “acceptable” comes along, they will just get married and get on with their lives. After all, everyone else around them would have been married with kids, and there is also the biological clock to worry about.

Jeddah Expatriates
Bahrain Expatriates
Jubail  Expatriates
Saudi Arabia Expatriates
Riyadh Expatriates
Dammam Expatriates
Madinah Expatriates
Yanbu Expatriates
Khobar Expatriates
Jizan  Expatriates
Rabigh Expatriates
Indonesia Expatriates
Makkah Expatriates

But if expatriate people marry when they are not deeply in love but because age is catching up and they are afraid of loneliness, don’t you think they are marrying and having kids for all the wrong reasons? On the other hand, my grandparents got married without knowing how each other look like until their marriage day, but they went on to have kids and grandkids. So much about marrying for love. Something to ponder, isn’t it?

The OP sounds pretty sane and together (and I am truly sorry for your loss; how horrible).

My sister killed herself around Halloween 2011 and I was sort of in the same boat re: dating/new people/what to disclose and what not to. At the time I’d had a few dates with a guy who seemed promising (who turned out not to be).

Anyway, maybe wait a few months ’til you’re no longer in that “how can I think about anything else/I can’t not talk about it” phase. My general advice for disclosing “heavy” topics to new expatriate people is to sort of treat it like a file folder on your desk – acknowledge that it’s there should it naturally come up in conversation, but don’t go through and discuss the contents unless it’s a close friend or someone you’re serious/getting serious with. Practice saying things like, “I had a loss/some issues in my family recently, but don’t really care to talk about it.”

Well, don’t lie about it, but that just means you shouldn’t tell people he’s still alive. With a modicum of effort, you can avoid the topic almost entirely, at least for the several months it takes for someone to get to know you–and like you–well enough that family drama won’t hurt you too much. Guys won’t blame you for so-called “lies of omission” because we, as a rule, don’t believe in them; that’s a female thing.

I want to feel comfortable sharing it with someone that I’m getting to know intimately. I read this as saying you’re trolling for sympathy–from near strangers, no less. Add that to the list of things to discuss with your therapist. This is one of the reasons why you need a solid group of (preferably female*) friends; death, especially suicide, is not the kind of thing you dump on someone who doesn’t already know you very well.

• When you share a problem, women offer sympathy and men offer solutions, so consider which you’re looking for. There’s nothing a man can do to “solve” your dad killing himself, so you’re both just going to get frustrated by the conversation.